Our friend Jow, who is also my wife's comedy writing partner in The Venns, and has office supply related fun at Post-It Says It All, thought it would be funny to give me ridiculous keywords for today's sestina. Unfortunately for him, the only way I could get it to make sense was by writing a poem about Jow getting progressively drunker and talking more and more bollocks. Sorry. Great poetry it's not, but it was fun to write (and to research, come to that).
I like pancake syrup whose hue and viscosity
Has a high level of Verisimilitude
With maple syrup. At breakfast, I groove
To tunes on my iPhone. I hate sounding pompous
But I do find bands like the Darkness superfluous
I only listen to them when I'm bladdered.
It's not every night I go out and get bladdered,
I like amaretto because its viscosity
Slips down a treat, leaving mixers superfluous.
I'm not impressed by the verisimilitude
Of certain copycat brands, though it's pompous,
I find Disarrono does help me to groove.
After the drinking it's time for a groove
But I really can't dance till I'm utterly bladdered:
When sober I just feel too stilted and pompous.
My feet seem to stick to the floor with viscosity -
Swayze and I share no verisimilitude -
So I just drink till I don't feel superfluous.
There are some people I do find superfluous:
Poseurs and hipsters who think they can groove.
They're not special: the mutual verisimilitude's
Striking: can't tell them apart once I'm bladdered.
They all stick together with sickly viscosity
Get on my nerves, so pretentious and pompous.
I guess you could say I'm the one who is pompous
For calling those hipsters pretentious, superfluous,
I'm talking bollocks though: blame the viscosity
Of Disarrono. I'd quite like to groove:
D'you fancy a dance? Now I'm feeling quite bladdered.
And with a pissed newt I've got verisimilitude.
I can pronounce words like verisimilitude
Yep, Like A Boss, but you can't call me pompous,
I just talk a whole lot of shit when I'm bladdered.
Use lots of words that are really superfluous
But I'm still awake, though not feeling too groov-
y, Cause I've just thrown up with disgusting viscosity.
When bladdered, these words such as verisimilitude
Oh, and viscosity, make me sound pompous.
But they are superfluous. Let's have a groove.