Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Worse Than Global Warming

Pope Benedict has gone on record as saying that homosexuality is a bigger threat to humanity than climate change. Add this to the Southern Baptist types who start pointing the finger at the local gay village any time a disaster hits ANYwhere, and you have to assume the gay community is full of supervllains...

I've known for a while that I have certain powers.
It's the way I was born: I can make you all cower.

I can't vanish, read minds, stop a bullet or fly
But just by existing I make Jesus cry.

The Tsunami, the Earthquake, Katrina, the war:
I've taken the credit for all these and more.

And according to what certain faith leaders say,
I'm destroying the planet by just being gay.

Yes, his Holiness Benedict staunchly insists
The four horsepersons sport Birkenstocks and limp wrists.

But if gays have this apocalyptic effect,
Maybe he should treat us with a bit more respect.

I'm feeling quite restless. My muscles I'll flex.
So, your Holiness, tremble: THE VATICAN'S NEXT!


Check it out!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

This Be The Jabberwock In The Trees

Just for fun, a mash-up of three of my favourite poems, as suggensted by the wife. Can you identify?

They may not mean to, but they do.
(Did) gyre and gimble in the wabe
And the mome raths, just for you,
Add some extra outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son”!
They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch,
They fill you with the faults they had

He took his vorpal kind of grief:
In old style hats and coats he sought --
The trees, by fools, up in their turn
And stood a while in thought

And as in uffish thought he stood
Like something almost being said
Yet still the unresting Jabberwock
With eyes of flame, relaxed and spread.

At one another’s throats, one two!
The soppy-stern went snickersnack
He left it dead, no, they die too,
And, last year, went galumphing back.

“Come to my arms, my beamish boy!”
Man hands on misery to man
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh!
Get out as early as you can.